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Audio Sketches

February 25, 2014 Leave a comment

In case anyone is looking for some audio silliness I just uploaded a few things on audioboo.

Here is a sample of a few things you may have missed over the years.

I can never resist having a go at an accent or character. I think it stems from having parents who hammered out any trace of our Suffolk surroundings from an early age.

The thing is when I was with the siblings and our old Ma was dying in hospital, pumped up with morphine, she said , ‘Oh, it’s so lovely, I can hear all your Suffolk accents coming out.’

I know she were dying and all that, but I really coulda lumped ‘er one!

Opening Lines

February 11, 2014 Leave a comment

Quick update dear neglected blog types.

I’ve had a couple of mini plays short listed for a thing in the spring and some bits and bobs used in the shows I submit to so that’s all good.

My new year’s resolution, the first time I’ve ever made one, was to finish off the pantomime I’ve been writing and that was all going well until… Well, this book I’m currently 5000 words into starts demanding to be written.

I know! Shock, horror! All I did was read a couple of books (shock, horror again) and it seems to have uncorked a flow I have no intention of stopping. I’m tempted to post a bit here but for the trolls. I’ve absolutely no idea where it’s all going or whether it will have any ‘merit’ once done but simply don’t care. It’s just great to discover a) there was anything beyond my usual few page scripts and b) oh delicious b) the unknown.

It was quite amusing to see this message pop up on the Werdsmith app though. I foolishly assumed writing apps were supposed to encourage writers!

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Drivers

November 27, 2012 Leave a comment

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Not part of a first collection found here

Mot Juiced

February 24, 2012 Leave a comment

I have a penchant for using the wrong word. In fact I’m wearing it round my neck now.

 

Torture:

April 14, 2010 Leave a comment

Definition  of … Everything your teachers did

Take me to your loser

November 9, 2008 Leave a comment

Noticed this strange pattern while looking at satellite pics of fields near me today (it’s that or listening to paint dry here). Could it be crap circles?

crop1

Spirit of Mrs Richards

September 15, 2008 1 comment

Anyone thinking of a hotel break may want to BEWARE OTHER GUESTS!  Here is a selection of some customer reviews found on booking.com. None of them mine I hasten to add but who needs to attempt comedy writing when you have the moaning British public, God bless ’em.

Chipped and hairy toilet seat in room – vvbad.

corridors were far too hot.

could have been told were things were in the hotel . had to look and get lost, moore comunication needed

Hotel was having lift built which put TV room out of use & reception upside down.

It is not exactly a complaint but the hot water was extemely hot,it was scalding.Great for adults but for the elderly or children it could be dangerous.It nearly burnt me and I was in Catering all my life so I am used to handling hot plates etc!!!.\

Very dissapointed with the room which was pokey, airless, hot and at the
back of the hotel, event though it was top price. The baathroom had a
floor that was collapsing, and the seagulls woke us at 4:30am since we
couldn’t sleep without the window wide open. The dinner was poor and
relatively expensive.

the lift wasn’t working but staff did not inform me of this and i had to find out myself. i could have been stuck in the lift.

Full length mirror opposite Toilet in shower room, slightly disconcerting!

The town seems to be full of disaffected youth who like to mock tourists, especially as the sun goes down.

ants as stated