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Audio Sketches

February 25, 2014 Leave a comment

In case anyone is looking for some audio silliness I just uploaded a few things on audioboo.

Here is a sample of a few things you may have missed over the years.

I can never resist having a go at an accent or character. I think it stems from having parents who hammered out any trace of our Suffolk surroundings from an early age.

The thing is when I was with the siblings and our old Ma was dying in hospital, pumped up with morphine, she said , ‘Oh, it’s so lovely, I can hear all your Suffolk accents coming out.’

I know she were dying and all that, but I really coulda lumped ‘er one!

Statement from the Beeb

November 14, 2012 Leave a comment

Latest from the BBC :

“At no time whatsoever was any child left unsupervised on the premises with a scary character”

Listen up.

March 7, 2011 Leave a comment

People accuse me of being manipulative

but on no account must you listen to THEM.

A Nice Cuppa

May 26, 2010 1 comment

I’m looking forward to this world cup like a child waiting for Father Christmas and wondering if any of you Yankeedoodles think you’re going to spank England’s bottom at ‘the beautiful game’ (footy please, not that horrible soccer word) on June 12th.  It’s very hard to call as I suspect the US ‘win-at-all-costs’ mentality might well catch us off guard and we’re quite fond of the odd capitulation in the spirit of fair play etc.  Empire, for example; not wholly English but you get the gist.

My mind drifts back four years to the last attempt at glory when some very unsporting Portugese gentlemen took it upon themselves to spoil the England party.  I wouldn’t have minded quite so much if I hadn’t wandered into the back yard afterwards with a beer for solace only to hear the strains of my favourite Queen song being massacred at the nearby pub karaoke.  The great thing about football is there’s always, next game/season/competition if it all goes wrong.  The great thing about karaoke is  … well … someone may care to enlighten me …

I was out in said back yard yesterday practising my keepy-uppies just in case a last minute call came through from the FA saying that the England manager desperately needed a middle-aged man as a standby striker.  I managed to do eleven with my insane border collie snapping at the ball so I think I qualify.  Video evidence can be provided.

Well good luck to South Africa, I hope the tournament goes well and good luck to all world cup fans.  But not too much, that simply wouldn’t be cricket.  Talking of which we’ve  just won one world cup so let’s bag a second!

COME ON ENGLAND!

Prawn yawn

August 26, 2009 Leave a comment

Hmm, possibly time to regurgitate the old blogness. I’ve been busy teaching a posse of lobsters to limbo… created some low shellfish team I can tell you. That was a crab joke.  I’ll go away again.

Podcast

April 24, 2009 Leave a comment

Boooooooooogle

March 20, 2009 1 comment

I wonder what the inhabitants of this place think about being observed so closely:

sv4haha

Call me old fashioned but if someone puts a step ladder up outside your house and begins to photograph everything, wouldn’t you call the police?  I’ve just been having a look at this street view thing and it looks like a  great tool for planning where to dump your getaway car or casing some remote joint ( not recommending you do).  There are unblurred number plates and faces all over the place and  at one sign in Norfolk reading “Farm Access Only”, that sinister black car has obviously driven along their lane to capture everything they have in their yard.

Give it a couple of years and with any luck the entire UK will look something like this if enough people complain.

boogle

Hands up now, who trusts multinationals to have their best interests at heart?