Victorians were on Mars

Mars Lander’s robotic arm has uncovered yet more evidence that the Victorians successfully established a camp on the red planet. NASA had earlier hinted that magnified images from the Mars Orbiter appeared to show the letters ‘ADE IN BIRMINGHA’ which when enhanced by computer spelled ‘Fade in Birminghat’.

Now fragments of a diary by the Rev’d Jeremiah Ormorod have been painstakingly pieced together by controllers and reveal he arrived “in a contraption of such monstrous industriousness [and] illustrious pomposity the [like of which has ne’er] been seen”. He goes on to describe a “hearty breakfast of roasted partridge, quince tart and hams the like [of which the] good Mrs Cloggins serves with[out] compunction”.

Research has shown that London’s Fortnum & Mason did supply an unusually large number of hampers for an ‘undisclosed mission’ to a Mrs Cloggins at The Rectory, Wrangleby, Lincs, England in 1882.

Scientists are currently studying archive material and watching ‘Journey To The Centre Of The Earth’ in order to ascertain how the Rev’d Ormorod might have died although the most likely cause is thought to have been melodrama.

image for Victorians were on Mars

Anything red belonged to Britain

(pic. courtesy of The )
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