Midgetgems Comedy

• Pliers -Australian cricket team
• Criticize -the eyes of a critter
• Nourish - Delia Smith’s guide to wine
• Haute cuisine - horsefeed
• Eliminate - offer of a drink on a hot day in Asia
  
• Succumb - what you do when you slice off the top of your thumb
• Nigh - the present in Northern Ireland
• Undeterred - diarrhoea (sorry - couldn’t resist)
  

In the spirit of ‘I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue’, a few alternative meanings:

Efficiency - Yorkshire trawlerman describing what he’s caught

Head lice- The main reason police stop drunk drivers

Elope - The missing half of a deer

Scrutiny - Word game invented on the ‘Bounty’

Extension - Increase in alimony

Effervescent - 1.Damn, I missed the pheasant!

Effervescent - 2.Try the game pie

I can’t let the day pass without a nod of deep respect and thanks to Humphrey Lyttelton, a man whose sense of humour has influenced my own through the years of listening to ‘I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue’ BBC. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7367385.stm

I wonder what his tombstone will say. No doubt there will be mention of Samantha, when she goes, being laid under the ancient sod.

Thank you Humph and goodnight.