Midgetgems Comedy

• Pliers -Australian cricket team
• Criticize -the eyes of a critter
• Nourish - Delia Smith’s guide to wine
• Haute cuisine - horsefeed
• Eliminate - offer of a drink on a hot day in Asia
  
• Succumb - what you do when you slice off the top of your thumb
• Nigh - the present in Northern Ireland
• Undeterred - diarrhoea (sorry - couldn’t resist)
  

Who says the Germans aren’t just a little bit silly?

And isn’t that Jeremy Clarkson in there?

The last picture was stunning though NASA had forgotten that water on Mars meant the likelihood of an incoming tide.

Smile then Will!

So I went to the doctor and I says, ” Doctor, I keep thinking I’m William Shakespeare “

He said, “You’re Bard!”

I said, “No, you don’t understand , that’s the old pub landlord joke. I’m in the doctor’s and I think I’m William Shakespeare”

He said, “Really? You’re really the Bard? “

I said, “Really”

He said ” So this is a really, really, really bard joke then”

This scrap of paper is one of my most prized possessions. I remember asking my Dad to get it for me on one of his outings to the BBC. Every time I look at it I find it ironic that I should be wished ‘Light, Peace, Happiness’, three things that seemed to evade the great man. I hope he has found them now. Not sure what the squiggly legend at the bottom says but my interpretation is ‘Peter Sellers - Legend’.

I can’t let the day pass without a nod of deep respect and thanks to Humphrey Lyttelton, a man whose sense of humour has influenced my own through the years of listening to ‘I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue’ BBC. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7367385.stm

I wonder what his tombstone will say. No doubt there will be mention of Samantha, when she goes, being laid under the ancient sod.

Thank you Humph and goodnight.

Hi

Okay, suffice to say my parents didn’t call me Midgetgems but I was eating them when I had to choose a username (not eating my parents, that would be very silly and wrong, they were dead anyway … moving on then …) I started writing comedy in 2004 and well, it stuck. New to here so bear with me and we’ll get the funny stuff up soon.

Meanwhile, do please have a listen to some of me podcasties and let me know what you think.